Recovery: Writing the Story of Your Life
“When Writing the Story of Your Life, don’t let anyone else hold the pen.” -Rebel Thriver
I think of this quote often as I make some big changes in my life. I am quitting a job that I hate to pursue writing and teaching Yoga as my full time commitment. They are two of my greatest passions, and I would love to be able to make a living doing them. I’ve never attempted it before in such a complete way, and I am often plagued by doubt.
But those doubtful voices in my head “who are they? Is it I? I don’t think so”. They are the voices of my parents and others who are afraid, maybe even more afraid than I am. But I can no longer listen to the opinions of others when it comes to what I intuitively know is right for me.
I come across this theme often in my recovery from addiction as well. How often in my drinking and drugging days I did use other peoples’ actions as a reason to get drunk! And now that I’m sober, I find myself still using others’ behavior as a reason to be resentful, fearful and self-pitying. I let other people write my life story by basing my decisions and my emotions off of other peoples’ behavior.
But the truth is, everyone is fallible. Everyone makes mistakes, even the best of us. The thing we must do as recovering addicts and alcoholics is to realize each day that we must make decisions from a place of faith, courage and love. These are all within us in unimaginable amounts, able to be accessed at anytime, if only we have the courage to look within and rekindle the connection between our Higher Power and ourselves.
Because when we make decisions from a place of security and knowing that all is well and God is with us, we will make the choices that will take us in a positive direction! This brings to my mind a quote: “Fear knocked at the door; faith answered; no one was there.”
I like to remind myself that each decision I make either takes me toward Spirit or away from it. Those are my two options! Which am I going to choose today? To be honest, I’m not sure, but I’m going to call my Sponsor later and find out! Because while I must follow my own heart and intuition, there are a very few select people in my life who know everything about me and without other intent want the best for me. My Sponsor is one of them. I speak with her often, and I encourage you and everyone else in recovery to get one as well and actually talk to them. They are truly gifts from God. Even the strongest of us need a sane sounding board to bounce our ideas off of in times of confusion.
So what is my solution to all of these big changes? To the fear and doubt I feel about my abilities? As always, the solution is in working the Steps and applying them to the best of my ability in my daily life. The solution is to go to meetings, talk to my Sponsor, and PRAY. I know I will find my answers, and my serenity, when I look for ways to be of service to those around me instead of constantly wondering how I can get more for myself.
“What matters is to live in the present, live now, for every moment is now. It is your thoughts and acts of the moment that create your future. The outline of your future path already exists, for you created its pattern by your past.” -Sai Baba